First and foremost, Dude at Lowe's is probably my favorite, mostly because he'll never learn. On one of 17 trips to the hardware store, Lowe's, I witnessed a gentlman attempt to leave through the entrance door. If that was it, I would have forgotten him before I even saw him try. But oh, it wasn't. Not only did he walk right by the greeter at the entrance, not only did he inevitably walk right up to the sign that says "Entrance Only", not only did he pass under the area a motion sensor WOULD HAVE been had it in fact been an entrance, when the sliding AUTOMATIC door did not open for him, he actually attempted, with his hand, to push them open himself (sorry for the long and unwieldy sentence). And you know what the worst part is?? At the EXACT moment that he set his palm on one of the sliding doors to push, someone outside walked up to the entrance, tripped the sensor and away they slid. If you still haven't hopped onto the wild ride that is my train of thought, get this: THAT MAN NOW THINKS THAT HE OPENED THE DOOR WITH HIS HAND. That man, in a world where every department store, every grocery store, every hardware store, and every airport requires you to simply walk up to a door to open it, that man thinks he slid an 800 pound wall of glass by simply touching and leaning on it with his palm. If you're asking, the answer is no, I'm not giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Stoopid.
Second and less foremost (but still stoopid) is Girl at Walmart. While in the refrigerated section, I was confronted with one of those "before and after" shots in a youth regeneration commercial for lotion. Up walked a college girl, and right behind her, a frighteningly similar image (face and dress) was her mother but looking 40 years older. Here's the conversation:
Mom: ...but don't you already have orange juice?
Girl: Yah but we drink it so fast we should get another. (picks up bottle)
Mom: Hmmm, check the experiation date just to be safe.
Girl: October 25th.... (looks at mom) is that far away??
Nuff said.
Stoopid.
And I'm afraid I occupy the third spot. I did laundry today for the first time and I was so busy trying to keep track of my keys to not lock myself out of my apartment and the laundry room (there's the first excuse), and too occupied trying to hold keys, phone, money, detergent, and hamper (there's the second) that I threw the clothes in the machine, turned it on, and left without adding detergent. Only after getting back to the apartment and realizing I hadn't opened the new bottle of detergent, did I head back. On my leisurely walk I was swinging the bottle around in amusement. Because detergent is viscous, it didn't all fall back to into the bottle when I set it on the machine. As soon as I removed the cap, out it poured on my hands, the floor, and I'm sure on my toes.
Stoopid.
Thank goodness for school.
At least my washing machine is from space and this particular side-loader has special little flaps on top to add detergent and softener.
They're just so cute they're stoopid.
Stoopid.
Anyway, that concludes my indulgence in Stoopidness before I begin spending time in a place that is one of the farthest things from stoopid. Tomorrow I take the proverbial plunge, and the parents leave as well (sad face). I'm excited, but nervous. Hopefully someone farts really early in the first class to release all that inevitable tension (in the classroom and their rectum, of course).
I bid you farewell, kind friends and family.
I love you all.
Stay classy San Diego,
-Montreal Gator
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| living room - picture to be hung on far wall |
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| living room - other side facing desk and front door |
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| bedroom - view from door, most decorations in this area, wall to left still to be worked on |
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| other side of room, view from door - work still to be done |
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| bathroom - two sinks, bitches |
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| kitchen |
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| kitchen - walls still to be dressed |
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